Deductions and Nargles
by cryptic rose grunge is dead
Summary: "RAVENCLAW!"the Hat bellowed. The eruption of applause almost drowned out Sherlock's scream of 'NO' and his head banging on the table. It did not, however, cover John's laughter. Luna skipped over to them, and saw Sherlock's head lying on the table."Oh, no" she said tapping his skull with her finger "wrackspurts,your heads full of them" Wrote this with mah ginger w


When you attend Wizarding School for six years, chances are you tend to overlook the strange. Most everyone does. But, nonetheless, something peculiar was going on at Hogwarts, and only six people were aware of it.

….

John had said his last goodbyes to his drunken sister and dove through the pillar, and onto platform 9 sputtered as he ran into an owl and received a mouthful of feathers. He looked through the horribly crowded station for the familiar curls and purple robes. He finally spotted the boy bearing them near the back. A smile lit his face as he walked over.

"Is that your wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" Sherlock spun on his heels and gave John his best 'bitch stare'.

"I can't take you seriously in that jumper." He waved his hand at John's chest. "You look like a bloody Weasley!"

John rolled his eyes, "Says the boy wearing a bowtie."

"Piss off! Bowties are cool."

"No. No, they're not." John slipped his hand into Sherlock's, and marched toward the train, pulling the stubborn Ravenclaw behind him.

…

"What took you so long?" Sherlock grumbled as he opened the door on yet another full compartment.

"Sorry," John muttered to them before he turned to look at Sherlock, "What are you on about?"

Sherlock gave him another glare, "I was waiting for you, and now we're late!" He enunciated

"Awwwwwww, you were waiting for me?" John placed his hand over his heart in an overdramatic swoon.

Sherlock ignored him as he peered into another compartment, this time it was occupied by tiny people; he let out an angry growl. "All the other compartments are full, and now we have to sit with first years!"

"You're so cute when you're mad!" John gave him a kiss on the cheek. Sherlock gave him a 'really' glare.

"John, I am going to disembowel you." There was a small squeak of horror behind them. They turned around to see two small children: a terrified redhead, and a curly haired blonde.

"Oh, um... He was kidding..." John said quickly

"You would look good with blue hair." The blonde replied dreamily. The redhead swiftly elbowed her in the side with a hiss of "Luna". "Oh? Did I say something strange?" The blond... Luna asked, "Ginny always elbows me when I say something strange."

Sherlock cocked a side smile "I know the feeling." John rolled his eyes and punched him in the stomach to make his point (he also deserved it). "See!" Sherlock exasperated to Luna. "Ow. You git. That hurt" He hissed at the Gryffindor boy.

"Good deduction." John teased. Sherlock glared at him and stuck out his tongue. John just ruffled his hair and pulled him down next to him on the seat. Sherlock glowered and leaned his head onto John's shoulder.

The rest of the train ride was spent in silence, except for the occasional banter from the two boys, who had a tiny blonde staring at them with huge eyes the whole time.

…

"Gryffindor, obviously. She's with you" Sherlock whispered, leaning into John.

"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat announced, as Ginny bounced off to join the rest of her family of gingers. John grinned and kissed Sherlock's cheek. Sherlock batted him away.

"Allright," John laughed, "That was easy, what about her?" John gestured up to the next student, a small brunette, who was being fitted with the sorting hat.

"Well, she's obviously smart enough to join us," Sherlock gestured to the Ravenclaw table that he and John both occupied.

"But?"

"But she's not honest enough, family has a darker past then you could tell from looking at her."

"And?" John asked playing into Sherlock's game.

"And, the rest of her family, pureblood, has been in Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff, and she has a strong resentment of both."

"Gryffindor?" John inquired playfully, knowing he was wrong.

Sherlock dismissed it with a wave of his hand, "Not brave enough"

"Which could only mean one thing."

"Slytherin."

"SLYTHERIN!" The Hat announced, Sherlock and John shared a smug grin.

"Oh look! There's Luna!" John gestured up at the sorting hat where the dreamy blonde was sitting with a serious expression on her face.

"No, no, noo!" Sherlock moaned.

"What? I thought you liked her."

Sherlock fixed John with a stare "When you went off to greet your friends at the Gryffindor table, she followed me around for 12 bloody minutes, rattling on, and on about all of these creatures, and trying to figure out what species I was!"

"That's adorable!" John laughed. Sherlock glared flatly at him.

"RAVENCLAW!" the Hat bellowed. The eruption of applause almost drowned out Sherlock's scream of 'NO!' and his head banging on the table. It did not, however, cover John's laughter. Luna skipped over to them, and saw Sherlock's head lying on the table.

"Oh, no" she said tapping his skull with her finger "wrackspurts, your heads full of them"

Sherlock jerked his head up "WHAT?" John couldn't even try to stifle his laughter. Sherlock shot him a pout-y glare, and collapsed back onto the table with a mumbled "Sodding git…" John rolled his eyes and turned to look at Luna with a grin.

"You know kid… I'm startin' to like ya…" Luna squealed and attacked him with a hug. Now it was Sherlock's turn to laugh at Johns startled expression.

….

"That's what muggles do on Halloween?" Sherlock's expression was one of utter confusion and horror. John couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, you should've seen me when I was a kid," John grinned, "My parents dressed me as a pumpkin every year till I could talk…" Sherlock's eyes practically fell out of his skull.

"Muggles are weird…."

"They think the same of us mate." John took a forkful of food from Sherlock's plate –Sherlock hadn't eaten anything off of it yet, instead reading a book with spells that looked suspiciously illegal.

"Why?"

"Will you look around you!" He waved his fork at the decorated great hall.

"I still don't see your point John." Sherlock looked unimpressed.

"Floating candles with pumpkins!" John raised his eyebrows "Sherlock, where I come from that would get you a trip to jail, and an exorcism." Sherlock scoffed and rolled his eyes, stealing a bit of bread off of John's dish.

"Speaking of weird..." Sherlock warned as Luna skipped over to them.

"You shouldn't stand under mistletoe." Luna gestured up above their heads. John followed her line of sight, and wiggled his eyebrows at his boyfriend.

"Oh, I hadn't noticed it..." He looked at Sherlock playfully. Sherlock gazed back at him with confusion.

"People are supposed to kiss under it." John clarified.

"Another tedious muggle tradition?"

"Oh. That's terrible. Why would people want to be so close to nargles?"

"What?"

"So I guess that's a no to the kiss then?" John pouted. Sherlock rolled his eyes and pressed his lips to John's.

"No, no, kissing under it just makes them angry!" Luna stamped her foot. "You don't want your brain to decay do you?"

" Well I'm certain he doesn't." John jerked his thumb at Sherlock, who rolled his eyes in response.

"John I find it tedious and annoying when you agree with her." Luna still hadn't stopped talking.

"… And then you wont be able to stay here, and you'll have to go to Pigfarts!"

"What." Sherlock replied flatly.

"No, Luna." John interrupted, "You can't just go to Pigfarts. It's on Mars."

"WHAT?" Sherlock looked at him in disbelief. "John, I'm confused and upset."

"For once." John laughed. Sherlock rolled his eyes, and went back to his book. John took another bite of food. "Eat," he chided, filling his fork again, for Sherlock.

"I can feed myself you know!"

"Apparently not."

"If you think I am going to let you feed me…"

John rolled his eyes, "Just eat the bloody food!" Sherlock gave him a withering glare, but obeyed.

"I resent this."

"I know you do love." John filled another fork, and held it up for him. "Again."

…

"You shouldn't wear black." reminded Luna as they were leaving the hall to head to their dorms. "Dapperblimps are attracted to the color."

"Luna," snapped Sherlock, "This is literally the thirteenth time I've told you that Dapperblimps don't exist."

He began walking towards the exit, trying to lose the skipping first year in the crowd leaving the great hall. It didn't work.

"This was my first Halloween feast." she remarked. "It's too bad I didn't get to carve a pumpkin. Someone through mine out the window, you see."

"hmmm." mumbled Sherlock, picking up his pace.

"It's alright. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt my feelings."

"what are we talking about?" John caught up to them.

"Nothing."

"Dapperblimps."

Sherlock snapped his book shut. "Fourteen, now. Luna. Dapperblimps. Don't. Exist."

"Lets see you say that when you grow orange wings."

She marched away with her nose in the air.

John laughed. "She's adorable."

"She's nauseating."

"Aw, c'mon Sherlock. Just cause-"

"Enemies of the heir beware! You'll be next, mudbloods!" the shout rung over the mass of people.

The two teens were suddenly aware that everyone had stopped moving, and were crowded around something.

The younger children were pushing and shoving each other, trying to get a better look.

John and Sherlock glanced at each other before elbowing their way through the mob.

….

Sherlock sat crosslegged in the Ravenclaw common room with his head resting on his fists. "It's not him."

"What?" John looked up from where he lay on the floor.

"You're thinking it's that skinny kid with the glasses. It's not."

"You mean Harry?"

"Who." Sherlock looked at him with disinterest.

"Harry _Potter."_

"Who?"

"The boy who _lived._" John said waving his arms in the air.

"Well great for him John. I lived too. And so did you. It's not that impressive."

"No Sherlock... Whatever..." John dismissed him and went back to his earlier point. "Well how would you know? Huh?"

"John," Sherlock stared at him condescendingly. "It was petrifaction! There is no way that a second year could accomplish that."

"Well then who is it?"

"AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHIIII DONT KNOW!" Sherlock pulled at his hair and let out an angry growl.

"Woah there Sherlock." John spoke like he was trying to calm a horse.

"Don't talk to me in that way John, it impunes my intelligence." Sherlock stared at him flatly.

"What?"

"Nevermind!" He jumped into a standing position on the comfy chair. Silence engulfed them both as they began to think.

"Maybe... Maybe it was Percy Weasley!" yelled John, making Sherlock jump.

"What? That's stupid. You're stupid." Sherlock hopped off of the chair, and began to pace.

"I like that conclusion. He's obnoxious."

"That doesn't mean he's the Heir of Slytherin."

"I don't care, I like that, I'm not thinking anymore."

Sherlock rolled his eyes, "Malfoy?" he suggested, "No, too obvious."

John slammed his head back onto the floor "We're never going to solve this!"

"John, stop with the pessimism, it's putting me off." Sherlock resumed pacing.

"I believe we need to look for clues, Mr. detective." John joked.

"Obviously."

"What? I was joking. This place is huge."

"Well we really will never solve this if we don't at least try."

"Well where would we even start?" John sat up, "This castle is infinite, we can't just look _everywhere_."

"No..." Sherlock turned to look at John. "John. If you were going to commit a crime, where would you go?"

"Ummmm..." John bit his lip as he tried to think. "Somewhere secluded, cut off... Where no one could hear their screams."

Sherlock turned at him "Ok, so we are looking for somewhere abandoned and quiet."

"Sherlock, that's like half the castle."

"Well John, we have our work cut out for us then!" Sherlock grinned.

"Sherlock if you think..."

"Well would you rather go home during break and deal with your sis..."

"No, no, fine. You win. And I assume you aren't going home either."

"Mycroft."

"Ah."

"Exactly."

John rolled his eyes, "Just comere' and kiss me you git!" They leaned in toward each other.

"OW! You sodding prick! You got your nose in my ear!" Sherlock let out muffled whimper as he clutched his nose in pain. "How did you miss my mouth so bad?"

Sherlock moved his hand away. "Is my nose bleeding?"

"No."

…..

"Sherlock remind me again why we're going to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom?" John said a bit apprehensively.

"Because this is the last place we haven't checked."

"Ookayyy... Remind me again why I talk to you..."

Sherlock glowered at the door infront of him as he opened it. "Go fuck yourself John."

"No, I'd rather fuck you." John said with a wink as they entered the bathroom.

"John, stop trying to be sexy. Its not working."

John ignored his comment as he stooped down to look at a small black leather book, that lay in a puddle of some questionable mystery liquid. "Hey, look at this."

"Hmm..." Sherlock squatted next to John, and extended his hand toward it.

"No! EW. EW. No, no. No! Don't- you picked it up..."

"It's blank..." Sherlock said as he flipped through the book. "Completely blank." He threw the book down with a frustrated growl.

"Whatdid' you do that for?"

"No leads." He stalked off to go look in the other stalls as John hobbit shuffled over to the discarded notebook, and picked it up to examine it.

"Blank." He mused. "Wonder why..." He took a quill out of his robe and marked a line down the side of the page. It disappeared. He nearly dropped the book when the words '_well, that wasn't very clever'_ appeared. "Sherlock!"

"Shut up John!" Sherlock poked his head out of the stall. "I'm trying to think!"

"Th-the book... It wrote back." He stammered.

"Yes, yes, yes. That means there's something living in it." He continued to pace. John opened his mouth to say something when Sherlock exclaimed "OOHH! There's something living in it!" He ran back to John's side. "But what..."

"Who." John corrected. "It's a person, it spoke to me in sarcasm..." Sherlock stole the book and pen back, out of John's terrified grip. 'Who is this.' He wrote, very impolite, as John told him.

'_Well hello to you too. I'm Tom Marvolo Riddle. And you are?'_ Sherlock let the book fall back to the floor. "Oh."

"Oh my god! Oh my god! There is a person in your book!"

"John,"

"Why would a person want to live in a book?"

"John."

"Everything so weird, we don't need more weird! You're weird! I'm weird, the guy in the book is weird!"

"John!" Sherlock shouted. John finally turned to look at him. "I think we should leave." He swooped out of the room, and left John standing there awkwardly.

"Sherlock?" John stood up. "What's going on?" He ran out of the suddenly very creepy bathroom. "Sherlock!"

….

"Sherlock, goddamnit, if you don't eat your eggs, i will shove them down your robes."

"Why are you always trying to feed me?"

"EAT!"

"John, you're like a Yiddish grandmother."

"Bubala, eat it, or I will cut you." John giggled.

"Oh, I heard that wild bubalas inhabit every other fireplace, at two am, on Wednesdays."

"Hi Luna!" John said brightly, elbowing Sherlock in the ribs.

"HELLO. Luna." Sherlock forced out.

"You know..." Luna dreamed, "I think Ginny has a bubala infesting her head. She has been acting strange, and sometimes she comes back at 3am with her robes torn. She's always writing in this odd little book."

"Fascinating."

"Wha... how old is she?" John asked Luna.

"Eleven, and eight moons." She nodded seriously. "Although, bubalas usually affect people older than twenty..."

"It is actually funny how little I care." Sherlock said flatly, not even looking at her.

"It's a bit strange you know... what with the chamber open. Myrtle's been acting even more sad. It's too bad the chambers in her bathroom. The whole matter upsets her so."

"Luna, I have told you a million times that the chamber of secrets doesn't exist."

"Well, you said the same about nargles, and look how _that_ turned out. Your brain's all muddled."

Sherlock whipped his head around. "_MY _brain's all muddle..." But she was gone. He let out an aggravated growl and fell to the table.

…..

Sherlock? What in the name of sanity are you doing?" John asked as he walked into the Ravenclaw common room to see the boy lying on a chair, his feet in the air, and his head dangling towards the ground.

"Helps me think." He dismissed quickly.

"Oh, ok then..." John nodded. "Got anything yet?"

"No. You keep talking."

"Well that was a lovely thing to say," John said sarcastically as he plopped down on the chair opposite him.

"SHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Fine you git."

They sat in annoying silence for a while, when John noticed a tiny redhead, walked by the dormroom, seemingly in a trance of some sort.

"Oh, hey, I think that's Ginny... She looks a bit... off... don't you think?"

"Shut up John. I have to think."

"Don't you care about her? She's a little girl, and she's wandering the castle... Who bloody knows what could be about at this time of night."

"Caring is not an advantage John. I don't care about anyone."

"Don't you care about me?"

"That is not essential to our situation right now."

"Not essential Sherlock? Who bloody well cares about some stupid graffiti on a wall!"

"I bloody well care!"

"But you don't care about me? Or anyone else for that matter?"

"John."

"No. Don't 'John' me. You are so insensitive to _everyone_."

"John."

"It always has to be all about you doesn't it? Always Sherlock this, Sherlock that!"

"John!"

"But you don't care if someone is hurt, or even bloody dying!"

"John, if yo-"

"You're _horrible_! You know that!"

"You don't e-"

"No! You do know that, and know what the worst part is? YOU DON'T CARE!"

"STOP!"

"What Sherlock? You can't take the truth? You're always screaming it at everyone else."

"THE TRUTH? _You want the truth?" _Sherlock hissed "You lived for eleven years with the truth, John. And the moment you got your letter you ran away from it. You left your sister alone to drink to death in an empty house. You think it's your fault! Ever since your dad left, and your mum died, all she had was you. She started drinking the moment you left, and it is your fault! But guess what? _You don't care either! _You never liked your sister, and you're not about to start now!"

John stared for a moment.

"I hate you." he stated flatly. He turned and walked out of the common room and into the hall.

Sherlock sank down into a chair and put his head in his hands, shaking and breathing heavily.

"Ginny!" Sherlock heard John calling down the hall "Ginny, are you ok? Ginny, where's Luna?"

Luna...

Something clicked in Sherlock's head.

_Luna..._

_Nargles_

_Dapperblimps_

_Wild Bubala_

_Chamber of secrets_

_Myrtle's Bathroom_

_Small black leather book_

_Odd little book_

_Th-the book- it wrote back_

_John_

_Don't think about John_

_Tom Marvolo Riddle_

_Not a name..._

_A puzzle._

_OARLOVTDMELOE_

_EOMTVMADOLIRLROD_

_IAMDVLTMOLDOLDOROR_

_I AM_

_**IAM**LRODVRTMEODL_

_IAMLORDVRTMEODL_

_I AM LORD_

_**IAMLORD**VLROEMDT_

_IAMLORDVOLDEMORT_

_I AM LORD VOLDEMORT_

_**I AM LORD VOLDEMORT**_

_Odd little book_

_Small black leather book_

_It's a person, it spoke to me in sarcasm_

_John_

_Don't think about John_

_Been acting strange..._

_3AM_

_Robes are torn_

_**GINNY**_

Sherlock's head snapped up. "_John." _He bolted from the room.

….

Sherlock ran like hell. He had to find John before… Where would he be? He was following Ginny. Oh. The bathroom. He ran even faster. He was close, he could hear voices. Voices? At this time of night?

"Ginny? Ginny, what are you—" JOHN! It was John.

"!" then there was a horrible, high-pitched, possessed scream, and a bone crunching thud, and the sound of stone grinding on stone. Sherlock felt his blood run cold.

"John!" Sherlock burst into the bathroom. "John, it's her, Joh-" He stopped dead when he rounded the corner and saw a body lying in a pool of its own blood. John…

Sherlock dropped to his knees and wiped the blood soaked hair out of John's eyes. He let his fingers linger a little on his cheek. "John?" he croaked. No response. "John!" No, this could not be happening, he couldn't be… John let out a strangled gurgle and then fell silent again, his chest rising and falling erratically. Good, he was alive… barely. Sherlock clutched him gently to his chest. He felt a tear slip down his cheek. It was his fault. He shouldn't have let John go off on his own. He shouldn't have said those things to him. He felt so impossibly stupid. There was a strange clenching in his chest, where his heart should be. He leaned down and placed a tentative kiss on John's head.

"GINNY! NO GINNY DON'T DO IT! YOU'RE POSSESSED BY LORD V- YOU KNOW!" Luna raced in screaming at the top of her lungs, scaring the shit out of Sherlock. She raced to the sink and began shaking it.

"Luna?" Sherlock looked over to her.

"Sherlock, you have t-" She saw John lying in his arms. "Did she happen t-"

"Yes."

"He is alive you know, the wrackspurts are still there-"

"I know." Sherlock cut in before she could ramble anymore.

"Sherlock…. It's"

"Ginny, yes, I know."

"and she's-"

"I know."

"but-"

"LUNA! would you go call Percy or someone?"

….

Sherlock stared at the unconscious figure huddled beneath the sheets trying extremely hard to ignore the screaming of a certain tiny blonde. "Would you hush!"

"NO! I WILL NOT HUSH! I WILL NOT HUSH! I don't like the idea of Ginny being eaten by Umgubular Slashkilters!"

"Wha-Luna!"

"SHE'S MY ONLY FRIEND! WHAT IF SHE DIES!"

Sherlock let his eyes travel back to the horribly wounded figure occupying the hospital cot, wondering vaguely if Luna could read minds. Luna followed his gaze.

"what are you doing?" said Sherlock. Luna had picked up johns tie and was tying it around her head.

"It's a sign of respect for the wounded." Luna said seriously. Sherlock stared at her for a moment longer before looking back down at John with dead eyes.

he was suddenly much too tired to argue.

"You're wrong you know."

"It is! soldiers do it all the time! "

"No not that! When you said she was your only friend..." He paused, then sighed heavily.

"I- I'm your friend, i guess... And so is John."

There was silence, then suddenly an ungodly scream in a pitch Sherlock was sure only bats were supposed to hear. Somehow in the space of about half a second, she flew across the room, and Sherlock was suddenly faced with an armful of Luna.

"Ohmygodlunaget-get off, get OFF!"

"I missed something... " a voice came from the bed.

"John!" Sherlock was at his side in an instant, flinging his arms around the Gryffindor boy, even with the blond hanging off his neck.

"OW! You. Git." yelled John.

"Sorry,Sorry!," Sherlock pulled back immediately, settling for his hand, and twining his fingers through it.

"John!" squealed Luna, pulling them all into one of the most awkward group hugs of all time.

"Ow!" Yelled John, again.

"Get off!" Sherlock flailed.

"I love you both!" screeched Luna. At that exact moment a small ginger came staggering into the room with the help of Madame Pomphrey.

"GINNY!" Luna screamed, and hopped over John's bed to launch herself at the redhead.

Sherlock turned to John when she left. "I um.. well... I think the things I said would be considered um.. incorrect and, uh falsified information and .. i guess ummm.. considering the circumstances, i believe i was in the wrong, and... I'm sorry?." It came out as a question. "I was..."

"An absolute dick?"

"Yes."

"I was too."

"No. You were telling the truth."

"I wasn't." John spoke sincerely. "Comere' you _ass_." John scooched over on the bed. Sherlock lay down next to him carefully, and nuzzled into John's neck. "Ow!"

"Sorry." Sherlock pulled back a bit, and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.

"Sherlock, you're acting like a cat."

"John. You're not acting cute, you're just being weird." John rolled his eyes at that.

"Lovely."

"Oh Shut up." Sherlock mumbled fondly and leaned up towards John's lips, gently pressing them against his.

"Hullo." A small voice from behind interrupted them.

"Always small children breaking up our moments, John"

"SShhhhh"

"Why, we were having a moment. I like our moments!"

John rolled his eyes and peered over Sherlock's shoulder to see who had spoken, there stood Ginny, looking awkward. Luna peered at them with her huge eyes. "Hi Ginny!" John smiled, "Feelin' better?"

Ginny nodded, staring at her feet.

"Ginny's shy." said Luna.

Ginny elbowed her.


End file.
